none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
