remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
