My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
