I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
