i just wanna soil my oats bro
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
