She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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