awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize