margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
