the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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