What did we do last night that was yellow?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
