i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
