I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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