Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
