is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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