My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
