Nicole vs. Life
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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