Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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