Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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