I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Soap is not a condiment
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
