In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize