Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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