You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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