Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
