You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
