i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
