His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
