I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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