dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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