You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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