If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize