roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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