a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
