nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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