I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
