it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Randomize
