in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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