you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
