I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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