maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
