Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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