I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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