i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish my penis had a tongue
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
