Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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