I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
