Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
