OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
