Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize