Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
