Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
