dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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