are you still at the devil's house?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
