so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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