Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
