I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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