Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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