How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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