my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
