i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
