anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
